Divided Life

Inspiration: This book I'm reading about Henrietta Lacks
Word: Torn

I feel like another part of my life
has been torn from my heart
and my soul be diluted
and flat like cooled hot water
I feel like I've been stretched open
and cut unwilling
like Henrietta

I feel like my tears be endless,
I shed the Sahara

Sometimes I get lost in daydreams
to cultivate new dreams

I can only hope that my torn lives
multiply, like heres did
and love for something
better? Like here ded

I thought I was empty once
that empty felt much better

My pit of black be lonesome
but it shines more vividly
than daybreak suns

My cave is etched with pillars
of heartbreak and isolation

The walls painted heavy
with over thought confusion

The floor burns bright
and catalyzes compulsive upsetting thoughts

I call this place calm

I sit neatly placed at my desk
quieter than that sick silence
so my ears ring of deafening screams
and unprint worthy violence

My hands be numbed
no longer strong enough to lace
just cuff

They be fulfillin' their mission for us
I've been thought down
into an unfair fore-sought destiny

Mothers had more of a dream for me
my torn lives be slabbed on
petri dishes or profited on
by the lawless lords

I wonder if they'll see the moon
or distill into the air
chocking the breathe of dead land
or if they'll revolutionize a society
be noteworthily uncredited
to the hearts that they were torn from

I wonder what might become
of we
I wonder if we might multiply
rather than divide
I wonder if we might reclaim
our torn lives

You Promised Me

Inspiration: In light of all the current foolery of the world.
Word: Promise

I feel lighter than money

cool, im sippin' it

                                         ----the cool say

I dreamed a dream of cool passion

and moon sent 

delivered in deliverance

I heal through membrance

"We couldn't see the stars

so we threw up our own" he said

Now we got our own

killin' our own- I read

Books explain why the crooks

be crooks

and why my people's smiles stay

crook

ed

We be hooked-in

the imagery of

the broke-in

that's that reality tv shit

fuckin' with our perception

got us thinkin' real is

a cold bed of

wanders tryin' to find a found dream

hell

haunted on the backs of open legs

and hands throwin' up

callin' oneself supreme

uncommonly common is the new theme

Frank Ocean said it was a one man's cause

so he must not fuck with that one man's laws

And I be scorn again

be that angry black woman

because I can't become

the remedy, of a broken reality

that shit dead

What if I shot the sheriff

for all the misbled blood

and hung him high

enough to see

dead little girl's panties

danglin' on trees

and bodies being broke open

by aimless cylinders ablaze

led by lost thoughts

trailed by troubled haze

and mother's hearts falling

quicker than running teardrops

while their worries run faster

tryin' to make way

And who said Sodom and Gomorrah

was all that damn bad

I much rather live amongst free love

than the land of the dead

And aint that where we is

with all this self-denying finger pointing

hatred?

We be sippin' on that maddening world-

What she say?

"I don't hear [shit] but maddening screams

and the soft strains of death..."

You promised me

a freedom

postto insure some blessing of liberty

said if I agree I'd be insured domestic tranquility

the best lie was the promotion of general welfare

because the lawless lawmakers

don't care

thus I've created a new promise

deviated from a blood country's platform norm

aint no need to confirm or follow

my promise aint ratified by the heartless or hollow

merely a claim for my stolen dignity

So, fuck a promise

I'll claim my own free

Movies

Inspiration: My favorite movies.
Word: Watch

I want to watch Drumline
and Save the Last Dance
sing along with the Temptations
and shout with the Five Heartbeats
I wanna do the washer machine with Selena
and hoop with Monica
I want to fall in love With The King
and be dazzled like Anna
I want to be marveled by the life of Billie
Sing a little blues too
I'd love to ride the bleak with Juno
and get lifted with Craig and Smokey
I wanna have a walk on beaches
and see the garden of Edward
I'd love to get bad with my bads
and Set it Off
then cry a little bit with Doughboy
I want to hurt with my Sister's Keeper
and be romanced by Love Jones
I want to feel classic hip hop
and beautiful in Brown Sugar
and be troubled by 13
I wanna live that thug lyfe
in Claudine
and Wait to Exhale
I wanna eat spaghetti
toppled with syrup
and find the meaning of family
with Elf
I want to learn the backstroke
and swim good in Pride
I wanna love Jenny like Forrest
and run myself to Freedom
I wanna dance dirty and
come out of my corner
I want to find where my broken is
and make it into A funny Story

Bud

Inspiration: And old friend
Word: Acknowledge

For a while now, I've wanted to write a poem to you,
not a thank you, but an acknowledgment.

I allow you to move me
similarly I use you
I look to you for compassion
honesty
lustful love- still remaining true
I asked you to acknowledge me too
recall our long summers
of warm baths
and morning stories
I love our morning glory
and how the wine sinks down deeper
when I'm riding you
We be, the three of, cool together
The thick warmth of Moscato
with the dry heat from you
sizzle me like I'm dancing the Rumba
or a Jazz Ballet on pointed toes
I love when I giggle
release openly
You're an old friend
I normally trust you
but I can never really give you my heart
nor give myself to you,
or give into you
allow you to abuse me,
too.
I will always be buck enough to conquer you
I won't get lost like the hopeless do
and confused
and look to you for life.

You're simply the reflection
of my sunshine
the afterglow
of my moonlight.

Bittersweet Poetry

Inspiration: A friend of mine who is a beautiful writer wrote an essay that brought up some old memories.

Word: Bittersweet 

I feel like I have stains on my cheeks

from where tears lay faithfully

Where they dream swim and breathe-

I drank bittersweet wine

twisted into rhymes rained down on moleskins.

My pen goes in. 

I’m writing about you again.

I’m sittin’ at home without you again.

But you where never here though-

That was just a miss-recalled memory

Caused by you haunting me-

I want you to hurt me,

Cut me wide op-en deep-ah

Bittersweet poetry

It’s the most emerging emergency

I’ve lost my head for you

Been lost in you-

Sometimes I scream out openly

In public with folks around

Sometimes I bang at my head in my sleep

Sometimes, there is no sleep.

Sometimes, you are my sleep.

Sometime, we should sleep

Together.

Arm in arm, head

On one pillow.

This can no longer happen now

That thought was before I took you

Took your breath

Made you dead-

See If only

you were out of my head

If only

I could get you out of my head.

I couldn’t kill the thought

so I took my heart instead-

Now I stare like lady Macbeth

And wish away blood stained

Hands

That only wanted to be laced with your

Hands

So openly I have no regret.

And ultimately there can’t be a me

Without you

So willingly-

I take my life too.

That One Time

Inspiration: Not sure, found this in my poetry book
Word/Phrase: One Time

I said I didn't care anymore
claimed that I was over it-
But I still become stilled,
by your presences
Shaken,
by your deliciously upsetting eyes
I still sometimes get tangled in the idea
of you holding me
in your arms
keeping me
with your eyes
like you did that one time...
you see my problem is,
I'm still stuck
on that one time.

Each day I Love

Inspiration: Thinking about the things I love.
Word: Love

I love how we all breed new facets of culture
I love moments
I love how language can create itself
I love God
I love how there is only one God
I love the many extensions
I love sweet babies
the one's who bring you flowers
I love the feeling of hot pavement-
pressed against my feet
I love sand between my toes
I love being footlose
and raw and bold
I love good taco meet
and a bubbly glass of wine
I love handbells
and wind-chimes
and soft tin roof water cries
I love the color of Jenni's hair-
in the summer time
I love apples-
the kind that type
I love my room to myself
at night
I love candles
and a rough summer rain
I love meatballs
and my brother's 'black folk' spaghetti
I love nice train rides
and the brown line
I love rooftops
and flat rocks
and stars
I love dreadlocks
and Cadillac Cars
I love man, men, and humanity
I especially love being womanly-
a woman
I love women, admire a good curve
I love people
and how we all swerve
I love music
a good 10 minute song
an acoustic guitar
I love a sexy rhyme
and a haunting rhythm
I love dirty dancing
and wiggling my bum
I love finding my breath-
at the end of a long song
I love breathing
and waiting to exhale
I love the way smoke looks-
in the sunlight
I love diggin' down into the earth
and taking in the moonlight
I love lovin' and I live to love
I love the feeling of my love
setting my soul free
I love that what I love
is an extension of me