Monday, February 28, 2011

Do You Hear What I Hear

Inspiration: So Elijah is having a melt down and is about to try and kill himself, again a part of my one act play.
Word: Death

I am a rotten disaster
of what all perceive
as a destitute faulty version of a human being
I am cursed by the roots of which my blood streams from 
I love none 
I am hung from trees 
by those who shoot at me with disgust 
because my skins bleeds brown
in agony, and regret 
for what I have not yet done
I am a native son
but the natives do not see me
know me 
or embrace me 
I am left to suffer from the wrath 
of everyone
my spirit flies lower than the loveless 
there is no other mistake like me 
I render cages to be built in my name
I search for my beginnings to exchange them with yours 
so that you might understand that my lips
move to the meaning of a different word
I am like no other, am no other
I am Elijah 
the son of the ill-fated 
kin to the most heated 
Death sings to me 
and I hum back in bliss 
for it sings my song proudly 
and lovingly calls my name

Transparent

Inspiration: The world can make us feel like we're not apart of the earth
Word: Pointless

I move like a train,
always passing
weaving in and and out
and through
and down
but I am never seen
nor caught
I live like dust
My feet turn to the familiar sound of a heartbeat
and I groove down blood streams
of growing children
I breathe like air
I leach onto your mind hoping you will absorb all that is left of me
you don't
instead I'm left dreadfully dangling between a heap of longing
and want
I want you,
I am nothing at all
really
no true importance
or actual relevance
nothing to you
I am pointless

Controlled by Evil

Inspiration: This is just part of my scene in my play. Molly just lost her boyfriend
Word: Control

Elijah: Jesus Molly stop you're out of control 

Molly: Control does not exist in me 

Control the knifes edge 
that pierces into my lust for security 
Control the quick feet that dance
to rash decisions of an unloved heart
Control the unknown that hunt
after my ambient corpse demanding 
that it surrender

Fuck control Elijah, evil can't be controlled. 

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Illusion

Inspiration: Ever feel like you're kinda just passing through life, like you're not in actuality there. Well, thats how the character Lacy feels in my play.
Word: Exist

I do not outright exist
my laugh echos in the ears of those not documented
because my soul resides with none
my passion is received only by the reflection of my
passing spirit
my sent is odorless because I posses no
decomposing skin cells
nor baby beads of sweat
because my vessel is lifeless
because I gave away my life

Missing Grief

Inspiration: So in my play molly just found out her boyfriend was murdered 
Word: sorrow

I laugh
I laugh at the hate inspired poisons of the earth
that bring my heart grief
because I invoke my own self pain
I am the cancer that spread like venom 
in my own mind stimulating a love that has no root
a love that does not belong in me 
because I am undeserving
undesired by saints 
worshiped by sinners
I swim head first in the blood of agony
because I am not awarded sorrow 

The Sorry

Inspiration: Apologizing, also apart of the play I'm writing
Word: redemption

An apology is an hollowed tunnel towards redemption
A redemption that breaths a forgotten life into the hearts of sinners

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Useless Loving

Inspiration: One act play Hornado is a gay mexican, who has not yet told people
Word: Wrong

I Am Wrong
My heart seeks what it cannot
loves what it should not
I am immoral, unethical
sinfully disgraceful
my eccentric loving is not to be welcomed
I am undeserving of intimacy
intimate tenderness
because my heart
my pupils dilate
for the same



Unwanted

Inspiration: One Act play for theater, Jonathan is an overweight white male that is looked over by his peers
Word: Mistake

I am a Mistake
My hands were not meant to bleed
my body was not meant to breathe
I was not meant to be
here
I apologize for the unwanted statue of
myself
I reject myself because
you won't
look at me
see me
embrace my body that does not fit your mold
of beauty


Sing my Song

Inspiration: Writing my one act play in theater
Word: Forgotten

I        Am Forgotten
my roots know no soil in which they
belong
I sore on the backs of the bruised and the abused
I dance
to the rhythm of an unloved tune
my body is
thirsty
dried and shriveled
my parched lips long for the taste of
knowing
myself


Wednesday, February 16, 2011

I am a black man

Inspiration: Again writing in theater
Word: ungodly

I am unconventional
I sweep a strange shadow into your existence
that calls you to question my motives
I am motived to be like the ungodly
I fail in hopes of being accepted into your
grace
I forsake myself to better myself


Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Shattered Mirror

Inspiration: So again I'm writing an one act play in theater. The character is giving a confession that explains who she thinks she is
Word: Illusion/passion

I am an illusion
my face, my being
is an reflection of you
my vessel consist of broken pieces of life
destroyed and constructed by your will to refuse my love
to distance yourself from my outpour of
compassion for you
I allude a truth in actuality
that does not
exist
I
bleed
passion

Monday, February 14, 2011

Why have you forsaken me

Inspiration: we often forget the reason we experience strife
Word: Forsaken

She asked
why had he forsaken her
why had he who had once grasped her from a nest of hungry vultures
forsaken her
why had he who had coveted her every move with well being
denied her of his glory
why had he who allowed for her to completely indulge in the satisfying taste of a
true blessing
refused her of his love
she asked and answer was clear
she had forsaken herself


So it's not my best... but if I plan on catching up I gotta get on it

When the Oppressed become the Oppressors

Inspiration: Everyone's trying to bring down their leaders
Word: justices

Disgusting stems of justice are found
in the upward notion of equality
by means of destroying those who once
were named supreme and
contorting one's idea of justice
into self fulfillment
into one's unclear retribution

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Unconventional

Inspiration: Strange Lady Gaga
Word: Eccentric

She
breaths into the world a new breath
that leaves a tented since of an unfamiliar life
a life that suggest such living that threatens the very existence of what is
Her
eccentrics pour freedom into the starving stomachs
of those whose tongues are tainted with regret
and the scars of yearning for the will to fly as
their own strange beings

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Ying Yang

Inspiration: So in my theater class we're writing one act plays. The prompt was starting the play with a confession
Word: Hypocrite 

I am a hypocrite
My tongue spins contorted lies into a false reality in which I live 
I breathe life into my own insecurities with my every notion of existence
My mere being is a lie 
I seek pleasure in the demise of my own self 
A self that swells into a heap of nothingness laid perfectly still 
For your full consumption

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Unwanted Place

Inspiration: This a piece I previously wrote, Its really personal
Word: Hurt 

On June 17th 2010
My body...lay...... numb
(I don't know how else to explain it)
At approximately 9:23 p.m.
I lay motionless
heart banging
head racing
eyes    dried 
Battling with my pride, I reached for the phone 
forced the joints in my hand to move
and dialed
1800 784 2433.
the hot line for, well I'm embarrassed to say, but suicide 
The phone to my ear stung like a sharp whip from mama's belt
every ring was so boisterous it reminded me of those thunder storms that were loud enough to make you think God was having a full on battle with the devil
As the ringer thumped in my ear my vision began to blur as tears overtook my eyes
being put on hold for to long I hung up
My body began to surge with enough unhappiness to make the most content man in the world want to jump
but instead I clinched my fist and forced my racing mind to settle upon one thought
What person, what thing, what in life had brought me to this unwanted place?
as I closed my eyes, images of my life began to play of memories that left the heaviest burdens on my heart
was I here
because the first boy I ever crushed on, took one look at me
and called me fat
or was it because of that time my mothers eyes looked at me and burned disgust on my forehead 
or maybe it was it that vile teacher who forced me to feel inadequate 
no…no it had to be when my cousin severed apart my seven year old legs
wait maybe it was because every time I broke my back, lost my breath, and fought to open doors for others
they double locked them and put on their alarms when they saw me commin' 

I don't know what particular event led me there but what I do know is that every painful event has one thing in common-
Hurt
but that not being enough for me I made myself ask what in these scarred memories caused me to feel hurt
where did my hurt come from

As months passed after my episode it came to me
If you cuff your hands together and reach into the far depths of my soul
you'll find where my hurt comes from
Once you ponder upon my hurt in your hands 
you'll see that it is a reflection of you...
all of you
who refused to love me
you who I supported when I could only stand on one leg
yet you let me fall like leafs in the fall, but faster
you who turned a frigid shoulder toward me 
when I merrily asked you for a four letter word
(no-not that four letter word)
which was the result of misplaced love from young blood thirsting family members 
but genuine exclusive love 
The kind of love that makes you feel wanted, in a good way
or the kind of love that makes your body feel toasty on the frostiest day of the year
The kind of love that makes you feel important in a world built to make the poor man seem worthless 
The kind of love so sweet, that it has to be a reflection of God

Me yearning for your love,
made me not love myself, 
which hurt me enough to bring me 
to that unwanted place 






n

A Bitter Sweet Existence

Inspiration: Being Preggers as a Teen
Word: Bitter Sweet

Troubled
the circumference of her belly gives way to sweet life
life not yet wanted, but not yet had
had she listened to the familiarity of her voice
a melancholy mask wouldn't guard her own unworldly face
a face distorted with the erosion of tears and harsh decisions
decisions selfish but in her mind necessary
decisions terminating
but in her soul everlasting
decisions revoking her own self
but in her eyes bitter
sweet

Lies They Tell Us

Inspiration: For Colored Girls
Word: Don't lie to your children

Corruption twisted into sweet lemonade fed to the mouth of babes

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Don't Frown

Inspiration: What I tell myself when I'm down
Word: Smile

crack that hard coated residue of tears
and genuinely smile from ear to ear

waitin for the subway

Inspiration: Waiting for the train at Fullerton
Word: mayhem, whisper

Elaborate Mayhem
Distant Sirens
Erotic Laughing
And the spouts of an erupting argument
Sing a quiet murmur
The exhaust of an engine
Elevates toward you
Inspired by the rhythm of the wheels
You listen to a calm tune that quiets all
and you
into
a disheveled whisper


not really my style, but I like streachin myself

Thursday, February 3, 2011

mindless thinking

Inspiration: ... I don't really know, I guess prom
Word: cage

I opened
my caged place of passion
and sprinkled it lighty into the palm of your hand
so that you might enjoy my love
and desire me too

Morning

Inspiration: Morning
Word: Morning

Morning's beginnings gives way to a multitude of things yet untouched and discoveries waiting for you to uncover 

Hot Breath

Inspiration: I hate when people talk to me with bad breath and chapped lips
Word: tart, bitter

Tart breath sings rings of fire around her neck
bitter chapped lips relapse in their own misfortune
and dissolve at their exsposure to repolsvie lava
oozing out like a hasty cut
by the parting of lips

A sweet illusion of glee

Inspiration: Snow Storm of 2011
Word: Sweetness

It began
with
iridescent flakes cascading down
like sprawled out children's hands
asking for a delightful taste of sweetness
found in the taste of delicate snowflakes
melting into disappearance on warm tongues
happy eyes danced at the pure sight of the dazzling flakes
mounting into a wonderland in which they-
would exude their sweet bliss into snow angles and snowmen
no school bells rang to interrupt their joyfulness
this enduring glee, reflecting
glittering snowflakes
was enough