Self Portrait pt. 2

I decided to try unearthly honesty
bitter and sweet truth
no mask of the tongue
mellow deliverance
I consistently question what life is
and can't figure where mind is
I'm repeating my self-again
because I'm still locked on it-
still addicted
I decided to rebuke loving uncertainty,
went for the kill
asked the unasked questions
got rejected
constant replay of a life unloved
yearning to become a mixture of eclectic unabused happenings
I watched it laugh at me
suck me in, trip me
watch me begin to fall-
I swam in eyes
and though myself a float, felt protected
almost embraced the hug
almost let the falsity of the remedy
fool me -again
There's no way my heart could breathe
without the pen
thoughts unrecorded are not enough
-to easily lost
leaving changes unmade
I have to write away the pain
of commonly misjudged eyes
I still even let my heart cry
exhale from the shame
coated on the brokeness of the unloved
i faced weary eyes straight through the mirror
could only scope the sight of another
The ones I wanted to take in mine
I'm breathing still
trying to seek calm
realizing my words don't make change
I only live them for me
to dream myself unpained
words kept me
so I keep them in unearthly honesty.

locked

I locked on your eyes,
piercing and wide looking.

They had a mystery
a divine story,
something curious
and abstract like
(don't peel off me, please?)

They have a steady flow
and a sick coolness
(like you do)

The gentle sharpness of them
amaze me-
I just want to know them
(and be close)

They shake my whole existence-
send chills down my spine,
(you're beautiful past today)

I hope to meet your gaze on tomorrow
I'd like to watch them watch the sunrise
(feel their hold)

I let them bathe me,
I want to be my purest with them.

They ask for such sweet honesty
and I timidly give into them
because their trueness frightens me
(and because i want you)

They look like eternity
and foresee a life of love.
(so i'm locked on you)