On a Tuesday

You just sat
        -on that chalk choked sidewalk
at ease, lost in your own bewilderment
                                                          -cooly
the sun kissing you sweet, dancing
on the top of your cheek bones
I saw you,
               as beauty
together- our heads poked in clouds
dreaming of change
making ourselves a catalyst
wrapped in one dream
exchanging new thought,
and fantasizing.
Smiling girlishly, bundled in laughter
-young
thirsting for the promises of life
appreciating our moment in time.

Wilderness

7-10-13

My mind feels so stale,
i can't write nothin' or feel nothin'

my round brown identity is painted on canvases
and laid over notepads

parts of me are stacked-high
spread frequently through powered clouds
i sat one day, thinking', heavily of a day
when sunshine would come covered in moonlight
blinding my unready eyes with God's idea of beauty-

you ever wonder if moonlight come before daybreak
and daybreak before dawn
and if limbo is our looping present, and if heaven be tomorrow-

i wonder on things
still-
contemplate moving
and my parts covered in chocolate skin
heated by the constant of sun breaking onto my face
at the sweet part of a bitter day

i think in circles

In love with you

I want to love you, self

ferociously alive like clovers do

green and plentiful in front lawns

and through sidewalk cracks-

I've watched you laugh

hurt bad too-

Get wind from hot air balloons

disguised as colored, rainbows too

spread across whipped backs

and broken oversized shoes-you

we've made it

 you and I-

self I'm falling in love with you.

Sweet

Lost in riddles and smooth lies,

that rhyme

and quick smiles, bright teeth, and eyes,

that hypnotize

Truth set out for me,

I hung high instead.

Tiptoed across hot coals holding my breath-

imagining a love of ours

on chorus

song by many

felt by plenty.

I sing for you.

Hoping you'd see me-

And we could sink, feel cool

honing our togetherness

and creating it as beauty.

Sweet lies read like sweet smiles

on broken canvases and keyboards askin' for play-

trust became a rhythm of

lies, apologies: repeat.

My heart could never sway.

I stay parched like the longing do.

fool-I see sweet nectar in you,

A Queen.

I curtsey at your feet

timidly, waiting to be tapped

sweetly, on each shoulder.

Sweet, won't you keep me?

I've been stung,

now I'm dying from your bite.

My one desire?

Your honey-

You saw past me

I couldn't be your flower.

I'd bloom for you-though

be true

wholesome too.

Them eyes spin a haunting image

read by you lips-

they show a scene lost in it's own film

strip, soundtrack of the blues

with a sequel intended

to break

me

too.

Like you, sweet?

Sweet Southern Morning

Southern mornin' sweetness
hugged with the gentle kisses of the mornings birds
hummin' eagerly over railroad tracks
singin' past broken buildings and old tire swings-

Hard interruptions
of yella finding his voice,
muffled by the sounds of
choirs singin' and church bells ringin',
there's a calm here.

Almost find myself to ready to not believe it-
searchin' for sounds to halt and winds to disrupt
my sweet southern morning'-

My body collapses with the rising of Mamma Sun
kissin' wildly on her earth, the extensions of her body
finding my skin, kissin' firmly, wakin' up my insides
She eases me with a gentle touch and wraps me up in her mornin'-
sharing her wholesomeness with me
(never felt more delicious)

My breathing is slowed now
breath stilled by the chilled rhythm
of hearts aligning with the certainty of existence
no need to rush, it's here.

Southern mornings sing a cool tune-
heavy, tinged with blood red dirt
loose now, and sorry
singin' for new understanding
asking for rediscovery.

Southern mornings sing a compelling tune
with a melody of the blues
coatin' over a somber history-
accompanied by sunday church bells
and the happy sounds of children's play.

I thank sweet
for pouring herself onto the south
and giving me new morning
through my quiet mourning.

Self Portrait pt. 2

I decided to try unearthly honesty
bitter and sweet truth
no mask of the tongue
mellow deliverance
I consistently question what life is
and can't figure where mind is
I'm repeating my self-again
because I'm still locked on it-
still addicted
I decided to rebuke loving uncertainty,
went for the kill
asked the unasked questions
got rejected
constant replay of a life unloved
yearning to become a mixture of eclectic unabused happenings
I watched it laugh at me
suck me in, trip me
watch me begin to fall-
I swam in eyes
and though myself a float, felt protected
almost embraced the hug
almost let the falsity of the remedy
fool me -again
There's no way my heart could breathe
without the pen
thoughts unrecorded are not enough
-to easily lost
leaving changes unmade
I have to write away the pain
of commonly misjudged eyes
I still even let my heart cry
exhale from the shame
coated on the brokeness of the unloved
i faced weary eyes straight through the mirror
could only scope the sight of another
The ones I wanted to take in mine
I'm breathing still
trying to seek calm
realizing my words don't make change
I only live them for me
to dream myself unpained
words kept me
so I keep them in unearthly honesty.

locked

I locked on your eyes,
piercing and wide looking.

They had a mystery
a divine story,
something curious
and abstract like
(don't peel off me, please?)

They have a steady flow
and a sick coolness
(like you do)

The gentle sharpness of them
amaze me-
I just want to know them
(and be close)

They shake my whole existence-
send chills down my spine,
(you're beautiful past today)

I hope to meet your gaze on tomorrow
I'd like to watch them watch the sunrise
(feel their hold)

I let them bathe me,
I want to be my purest with them.

They ask for such sweet honesty
and I timidly give into them
because their trueness frightens me
(and because i want you)

They look like eternity
and foresee a life of love.
(so i'm locked on you)

Po Dream

Poe it tree
saved me

So I stay wrapped in her
trying to pull my heart out,
break her from this cave

I wanna,
swim good
and take heed in him
feel the touch of her

I want to experience that fragile
thirst, some folk call it love

Can I take off my skin for you?
Expose you only to my flesh-

Can I press my bleeding self against you?
Will you feel my hurt?

I love to watch the flow-
ride.

I love how it never stops
no mater how still the water is

I took a bath in it
tried to drown myself
to stop the sour breath

I looked to her eyes for kindness
searched them for affirmation
reached out to
you
wanted your love

I cut myself on the prick deep inside your chest-
but I still held onto it hoping my feel would heal the hurt,
hoping my burn would feel good.

I'm dreaming still-
imaging a world where you knew me,
knew about we,
felt the possibilities-

My life be lucid like that
my mind swollen
fighting the uncertainty of time
dreaming for a break-
running towards a lie.

I'm dreaming still-
but I don't see the sunshine of tomorrow,
only the dull of today.

My heart be hopelessly in hopeless hope-
for you

I lose myself with a sick lit bud
and sizzle into quiet time-

I'm back with you,
and you're wrapping me-
like poetry always do

Keeping me quiet,
sound only in my chest

but you see I'm dreaming still-
imaging a time when my reality did not exist
but we did